Pink Slip Drama

Hi friends,

Well, we got good news yesterday...Matt went to the embassy with someone from our lawyer´s office and he was able to pick up our pink slip for our final visa appointment. Now for the bad news...our appointment isn´t until the morning of Monday, September 18th which means we won´t be able to pick up his visa until the afternoon of Tuesday, September 19th. Which means we won´t be coming home until Wednesday, September 20th. Turns out that the US Embassy has the luxury of taking off both American and Guatemalan holidays and next Friday is Guatamala´s independence day, so we have to wait until Monday for our appointment.

First came tears of sorrow for having to wait so long to bring him home. Then came tears of frustration because it means we won´t be making the Boise trip as planned that following weekend. Then came tears of anger at how ridiculously difficult it was to get a hold of Alaska Airlines to change our flight home. We had some angels (Matt´s mom and our friends Shannon Kelley & Sarah Fronza) working on our behalf.

When we finally got ahold of someone at Alaska, I cried tears of desperation when they suggested that we fly home going from Guatemala City to Miami to LA to Portland. When I had meltdown on the customer service representative about that itinerary, she said ¨Let me see what else I can find for you.¨ Sure enough, it worked. We will leave Guatemala City at 9:45AM on 9/20 and go through customs at Dallas/Fort Worth but then get back on the same plane to go to Denver where we will connect with an Alaska flight home to Portland. We are scheduled to arrive there just after 7PM that night.

Once we had finalized the plane arrangements, it became clear that I (Sarah) was going to have a mental health episode if I didn´t get a change of scenery. So Matt proposed that we go to Antigua for a week for some vacation and to take some Spanish classes. We will make the arrangements today, but expect to go from Sunday to Sunday, then back into Guatemala City for the visa appointments.

Of course, there was always the possibility of wrestling the immigration bureaocracy for an earlier appointment - not officially possible but in reality, perhaps, maybe, at some point and under some conditions possible - but we decided to enjoy some time with our son in the country of his birth. We had spent the last week tied to our room and our phone while clearing one official hurdle, and did not want to waste more time doing the same when the end result may have been close to the same return date anyway.

The good news about being in the country during this time, in addition to the bonding time it allows us with Mateo, is that we get to accompany him to see the Embassy approved doctor today for his final medical clearance. We will post some pictures tonight or tomorrow from that visit so you can see him interact with a medical provider.

We tried to load some pictures with this blog, but blogger.com is having issues (confounded by trying to do it from this fairly fast (by Guatemalan standards) internet...so we´re off to get some lunch now, and will try to upload some photos a bit later this afternoon.

Love from all THREE of us (it is so fun to write that!!) in Guatemala...Sarah, Matt, Mateo

Getting Closer....

Just came down from the Laywer´s office and a call to sarah at the hotel. I´m on for a trip with their courrier to the embassy for pink slip time, and the agency is rumored to have called our hotel with the news that the papers have been cabled down. Could be a double joy for the LaPlante family, as Sarah´s sister just gave birth to her second son. Mateo´s cousin Nathan Edward Lamers was born on Friday, Sept 1st at 7:58pm. 7lbs 5oz, 19". With three boys within 4 years of each other, family get-togethers should be appropriately rowdy.

More Photos, More Waiting...

Well, here we are again, a little farther along the path of not knowing anything.....
Turns out that our initial approval to adopt abroad was held in the Portland immigration office rather than being forwarded to Guatemala. So we have been working with our agency to notify that office that we need to have the form cabled down. We´re hoping to hear from the agency today whether it was sent down, and I´m going to the embassy with the lawyer´s messenger at the 3:45 ´pink slip´distribution time, in order to confirm details about the problem if the pink slip does not, in fact, show. After that, if necessary, we´ll let Darlene Hooley´s staff penetrate the labyrinth of the immigration department for us. That´s the long-story-short version. We´ll be happy to bore you with the long-story-longer version when we see you next.

Our stay here at La Casa Grande has helped put our own situation in perspective. There are a lot of other adoptive couples cycling through, and while a few are gliding through more quickly, plenty are hitting even more land mines. We´ve befriended a coulple of families from Michigan, who are both visiting their children pre-pick-up, as we had in the past. Today and tomorow they have to leave their kids again with their foster mothers and head home. One of them matched with their 7 1/2 month old daughter about the same time we did, but are only now getting ready to enter PGN. A family from Wisconson spent a year in the Russian program before learning that their agency was still working to license themselves in that country, which has anyway intituted a moratorium. They switched to Guatemala and are finally bringing home their son.
So in any event, we´re still happy with our decision to come down pre-pink-slip. Our time with Mateo´s been incredible and our delays have been just that - the normal delays we´ve been prepped to expect, and not anything that actually could jepoardize the process. If everything is just going to take longer than it should, we prefer it to take longer while we´re holding our son - and an incredible document that affirms, in very official sounding spanish, that we are his parents. And as my sister noted: ¨At least you´re getting a nice long vacation in Guatemala!¨ We´ll have future blogs on our excursions out into Mateo´s country of birth.

Above are some photos from last Saturday, when we had Mateo´s foster mother and her family to the hotel for Dinner. It was great to meet all of them. And culturally interesting. Most family members didn´t speak unless we talked to them first, deferring to the father, Francesco, seen holding up Mateo. He spoke with me most of the evening. As the men of the family we were the designated representatives, aparently.
Their son Harold, in the blue shirt, just finished High School and is entering University to study business and languages. We gave him our English/Spanish dictionary (the best edition I could find, after a typically obsessive search) to help him on his way.

Well, this internet cafe is at the base of the tower where our lawyer´s office is. It´s time to log off and head up there to check in and arrange to join their messenger on the pink slip trip....

-Matt

Okay, so a few more pictures from Guatemala

I guess I forgot that the internet is everywhere - and I have a camera with USB access. So look forward to more pictures from Guatemala, and more, and more, and more. By the time we´re done, you should know our hotel room better than we do!
Our papers went to the embassy on Monday, and we´re still waiting for our pink slip. Since they don´t issue documents on Friday, and they´re closed for Labor Day, the earliest we could get a pink slip is Tuesday, so chances are that our return flight will be later - I don´t know the Spanich for c´est la vie, but there you go.
Got to get back to the hotel for dinner with my wife and son! We´ll keep the updates coming.

-Matt

On Coming Home a Family

Well, we're off. We'll arrive in Guatemala City tomorrow, Tuesday the 28th - long before (Hurricane?) Ernesto can possibly get anywhere near any of our transit cities. We just got confirmation that Mateo has new his new birth certificate and Guatemalan passport under the name of 'Miller' (he's a Miller!) Today they'll submit them and our dossier to the American consulate, applying for a visa, so we can bring him home.

So we hope to have our 'pink slip' notification on Wednesday and we hope that it'll be for a quick appointment. They've been scheduling some in less than a week lately, which can be a problem for most parents who buy tickets when they get their pink slip. It would be great for us, as we took a chance on frequent flier ticket, and so would be able to come back on our scheduled return flight and not have to reschedule with only scarce mileage seats available - wish us luck!

Once we get home, we'll be taking some time together to bond as a family. Unlike a newborn, Mateo has had a primary caregiver for 9 months from whom he's being separated. While he has had some exposure to us, he'll still be getting over that loss, as well as getting used to a totally new environment - sounds, smells, sights and routine. All the most recent research and advice of adoption professionals suggest that this time together, where he gets all his care, attention and needs met by only us, is very crucial for promoting attachment in our new family.

Of course, we'll be doing what we can to make the transition easier. We've procured music to play that will be a lot like that he heard on the radio in his foster home, we'll use some of the same spices in cooking that filled his home in Guatemala (A mom in one of our adoption seminars did the same when her child, newly-arrived from Korea, fussed and would not sleep. Spices from the Korean grocery store in a potpourri calmed her and put her right to sleep!) and other new elements, (toys, etc) will be introduced slowly, as suggested by our agency (and common sense!)

There are other things we'll be able to do to assure him that he has a source of love, care and support that will be there for him forever. Continuing bottle feeding him ourselves at times, even if he can hold his own bottle or a sippy cup, will provide the eye contact, holding, and nourishment that will promote bonding. We'll also stay close to him during night-time for now, with a crib next to our bed so that he can begin to understand that he now has caregivers that will not be leaving him.

Probably the most difficult element of promoting attachment, which we've had confirmed from from many sources, involves (here's how a typical description puts it) the need not to "invite over or be around too many strangers until he is fully adjusted to you and your home. Do not pass your child around from person to person. He has to learn that you are the parents and you will always be there for him." It's so hard to cocoon ourselves when we're filled such joy over this wonderful person that is forever part of our family, and when we've shared so much of the story of how we're becoming a family with so many of our good friends and relatives.

Mateo already feels like a part of our family and community, though he's still so many thousands of miles away, and we're eager for him to know all of you like you've come to know him. When talking to the head of our agency about how difficult this will be, he encouraged us to remember that while our immediate impulse is to look for ways to share this joy together, it's mateo's needs that need to be looked to first. And we've also been touched by the support and understanding we've received from all of our dear friends with whom we've discussed this. It's so reassuring to be part of a community, and of two families, that share our joys and support us in our challenges.

Of course every child and situation is different, and Mateo will become adjusted to his new family and environment at his own pace. By the time we arrive back in Oregon, he will have already spent a total of a three or more weeks around us (a lot of time when you're less than nine months old!) so a big part of his adaptation will already have begun. He may be comfortable and reaching out for new experiences very soon, or he might take a little more time.

So that we can adapt to how quickly he acclimates, and so that none of you should feel reluctant about asking for news and seeing when we're ready for visits, we've asked our friend Sarah Fronza to keep people updated and coordinate visits. Feel free to call her and ask how things are going and find about when we're ready to expand Mateo's world. She'll be happy to give you all the news, and let you know about times you can stop by when you don't have to worry about whether you're the 20th person to come show up that day. Her number is 503-873-1173 and she says don't hesitate to call! You can also reach her at sarah@fronza.net.

We can't wait to share our joy with all of you! Keep checking in here at the blog; we'll try and update while we 're down south, and of course when we get back.