On Coming Home a Family

Well, we're off. We'll arrive in Guatemala City tomorrow, Tuesday the 28th - long before (Hurricane?) Ernesto can possibly get anywhere near any of our transit cities. We just got confirmation that Mateo has new his new birth certificate and Guatemalan passport under the name of 'Miller' (he's a Miller!) Today they'll submit them and our dossier to the American consulate, applying for a visa, so we can bring him home.

So we hope to have our 'pink slip' notification on Wednesday and we hope that it'll be for a quick appointment. They've been scheduling some in less than a week lately, which can be a problem for most parents who buy tickets when they get their pink slip. It would be great for us, as we took a chance on frequent flier ticket, and so would be able to come back on our scheduled return flight and not have to reschedule with only scarce mileage seats available - wish us luck!

Once we get home, we'll be taking some time together to bond as a family. Unlike a newborn, Mateo has had a primary caregiver for 9 months from whom he's being separated. While he has had some exposure to us, he'll still be getting over that loss, as well as getting used to a totally new environment - sounds, smells, sights and routine. All the most recent research and advice of adoption professionals suggest that this time together, where he gets all his care, attention and needs met by only us, is very crucial for promoting attachment in our new family.

Of course, we'll be doing what we can to make the transition easier. We've procured music to play that will be a lot like that he heard on the radio in his foster home, we'll use some of the same spices in cooking that filled his home in Guatemala (A mom in one of our adoption seminars did the same when her child, newly-arrived from Korea, fussed and would not sleep. Spices from the Korean grocery store in a potpourri calmed her and put her right to sleep!) and other new elements, (toys, etc) will be introduced slowly, as suggested by our agency (and common sense!)

There are other things we'll be able to do to assure him that he has a source of love, care and support that will be there for him forever. Continuing bottle feeding him ourselves at times, even if he can hold his own bottle or a sippy cup, will provide the eye contact, holding, and nourishment that will promote bonding. We'll also stay close to him during night-time for now, with a crib next to our bed so that he can begin to understand that he now has caregivers that will not be leaving him.

Probably the most difficult element of promoting attachment, which we've had confirmed from from many sources, involves (here's how a typical description puts it) the need not to "invite over or be around too many strangers until he is fully adjusted to you and your home. Do not pass your child around from person to person. He has to learn that you are the parents and you will always be there for him." It's so hard to cocoon ourselves when we're filled such joy over this wonderful person that is forever part of our family, and when we've shared so much of the story of how we're becoming a family with so many of our good friends and relatives.

Mateo already feels like a part of our family and community, though he's still so many thousands of miles away, and we're eager for him to know all of you like you've come to know him. When talking to the head of our agency about how difficult this will be, he encouraged us to remember that while our immediate impulse is to look for ways to share this joy together, it's mateo's needs that need to be looked to first. And we've also been touched by the support and understanding we've received from all of our dear friends with whom we've discussed this. It's so reassuring to be part of a community, and of two families, that share our joys and support us in our challenges.

Of course every child and situation is different, and Mateo will become adjusted to his new family and environment at his own pace. By the time we arrive back in Oregon, he will have already spent a total of a three or more weeks around us (a lot of time when you're less than nine months old!) so a big part of his adaptation will already have begun. He may be comfortable and reaching out for new experiences very soon, or he might take a little more time.

So that we can adapt to how quickly he acclimates, and so that none of you should feel reluctant about asking for news and seeing when we're ready for visits, we've asked our friend Sarah Fronza to keep people updated and coordinate visits. Feel free to call her and ask how things are going and find about when we're ready to expand Mateo's world. She'll be happy to give you all the news, and let you know about times you can stop by when you don't have to worry about whether you're the 20th person to come show up that day. Her number is 503-873-1173 and she says don't hesitate to call! You can also reach her at sarah@fronza.net.

We can't wait to share our joy with all of you! Keep checking in here at the blog; we'll try and update while we 're down south, and of course when we get back.

August pictures: The last ones you'll see from Guatemala!

Here are the latest - and last - pictures nuestra abogada Guatemalteca will be sending. That's because on Tuesday the 28th we'll be heading for Guatemala City and will be together with our son for good. Until then, this is what's new in his life according his foster mother and our Guatemalan lawyer's (that's the 'abogada', as stated above - now you know the spanish for "our female guatemalan lawyer", the most unlikely spanish phrase I ever thought I'd use almost daily when I was down in language school) report:

He likes to eat carrots, peas apple, banana and pear, and has some rice cereal in his formula.
He's got four teeth! (making him, offically, a little ankle-biter)
He 'talks' more (we assume baby talk!) and can sit down by himself (We'll assume that's 'sit up' and a little translation error.)

We're tentatively coming back on the 7th of September, but that may be earlier or later, depending upon our schedule. While we have not yet gotten the 'pink slip' that announces our embassy appointment, there's much less uncertainly in the remaining schedule now that our papers have come out of PGN. Enough less that it was worth risking scheduling frequent flier tickets ahead of time rather than paying cash for expensive last minute tickets.

Our latest info suggests that they have a new birth certificate for him (making him a Miller!) and possibly a passport as well. We should have more info in a day or two, and then we'll post another entry on our trip itself and what happens when we come back

Comin' down the home stretch!

Great news! We've finally passed the last bureaucratic hurdle. On Friday we got a call that our case has come out of PGN, meaning the Guatemalan government officailly considers us Mateo's parents.

We're parents!

There are just a few final steps, including our Guatemalan lawyer securing a new birth certificate and Guatemalan passport for him with the name of 'Miller', and the US embassy checking these and all our other papers in preparation for scheduling a visa meeting. These steps have all been moving very smoothly lately, so we can be confident that we'll be getting the call soon. Best estimate is that we'll be leaving for Guatemala in two or three weeks (give or take...always give or take!)

So now we've got a couple of frantic weeks of joy, excitement, uncertainty and terror as we rush to get ready - perfect preparation for parenthood! We'll fill you in as we get closer.....

We're looking forward to some great quality time as a family when we get home. Sarah's going to have 4-6 weeks of full time family leave, and then she'll be able to transition back to work gradually. Matt is looking forward to being the crazy silly guy that all of your children love with our son.

Now off to read about the new air travel rules which should make packing a bit more interesting!

We'll post our next update in a couple of days. Love from us!! Sarah & Matt & Mateo

Quilt, part two

Thought we'd feature a few more of the squares from that amazing quilt. You can see El Lorax peeking down out of one square, from the top of a truffula tree. Matt's niece Tegan made this one from a scene in that favorite Dr. Suess book. "Where the Wild Things Are" was a wood block print made by our friends Dan and Kristi Rose. It's a great illustraation of the remarkable effort our good friends and family made to give us this wonderful gift. Mr. Peabody's Apples is a marvellously illustrated parable about gossip and what happens when one judges another too quickly. It's adapted by Madonna from very old teaching story told by a rabbinical scholar. Our friends Cheryl and Megan Spraur did this one.
The cheery balloons were made by our friend Sarah Fronza, and illustrate How Do I Love You / Como Te Amo? a simple and reassuring board book about unconditional love in two languages.
Johnny Tractor and His Pals was published by John Deere, and pioneered the talking/anthropomorphized heavy machinery genre 50 years before Thomas the Tugboat and Builder Bob. Donna Aljets, whose husband Jerry is a well-known John Deere fanatic, made this square.

We've been sleeping under the quilt for now, getting it all broken in for Mateo, and being reminded daily of the support, love and affection of all our good friends and family.

Latest Pics!

We're now at 5 weeks into PGN (that's the last agency that has to approve the adoption!), and so far there have been no new requirements or nit-picking - keep your fingers crossed!
The latest wordis that once it all comes out of PGN, things should move fairly quickly. Getting passports and revised birth certificates for adoptive children has been easy lately. Those Guatemalan agencies have been turning things around in a few days. Then it goes to the US embassy and they've also only been taking a few days to issue visa appointments (the legendary "pink slip").
On the home front, we're contiuing to prepare Mateo's room and have been getting more great books and clothes and toys from friends. Grandma (Matt's Mom) is settling into her new Silverrton home and waiting form grandchild #5.

Here are shots from our last report